Growing Up in a Military Family

The Life of a Military ChildChildren with one or more parents serving in the military make them different from those with stable family life. Military children are often seen as strong, resilient and adaptable. They are dynamic and are willing to volunteer themselves at home or in their communities. Also, most military children have access to a good education system and early intervention programs. However, they are children with budding minds and a future.&nbsp;While growing up anywhere is hard, living in a military family comes with a unique set of challenges. For example, AASA states the average military family moves three times more often than a similar civilian family.Life for these children can become harder and scarier when parents are deployed frequently. It robs them of precious moments of togetherness with parents, leaving a significant psychological void. The effect is equally telling on parents who return home suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).Single adults without children account for 43 percent of active duty service members. Active duty service members married to a civilian with children account for 32 percent. Single parents with children make up 4 percent of active-duty personnel and married dual-military with children account for 3 percent.The majority of military children are predominantly in their early and middle childhood. Children growing up in a military family face hardships that other kids don’t. Parental deployment and frequent moves give these children unique experiences that transform and affect their perceptions of life. They experience different parenting with much more stress over the safety of a parent that could be deployed anywhere.The Impact of Deployment by AgeHow a child reacts to their military family life depends on the child’s age. Each child reacts differently. Even infants show signs of being affected by a parent’s absence.Infants, toddlers and preschoolersThese little ones cannot understand where daddy or mommy are going but they will observe and experience unpleasant changes in family dynamics. The parent left behind and other relatives should reassure these kids that they are loved and they will be safe.When the active-duty parent leaves, young children can experience separation anxiety, throw temper tantrums and display other psychological conditions. Their eating and sleeping patterns are the most affected.School-age childrenThe challenges of being a military child are often significantly different in school-age children. These age groups of children often score high in emotional and behavioral problems, with a parent’s level of stress a common indicator of the child’s psychological well-being. Children in this age group can also experience significant sleep problems or unhealthy eating habits. This can all be due to missing a parent, with psychological effects continuing to linger even after the deployed parent returns home.TeenagersTeens often experience greater levels of anxiety regarding the deployed parent’s wellbeing. Their academic performance is significantly affected. Teens go through emotional difficulties and other maladjustment issues. Likely having more time to adapt to military life means teens may be more responsible and mature.Parents and family members staying at home should teach their children coping skills to reduce the ill effects of deployment.Risks Military Families FaceChildren of a military parent continue to experience high levels of stress and trauma even after the parent’s active-duty service ends. The psychological effects have a lasting effect that never seems to go away. Among the leading risk factors that children and families of the deployed military face are:Stress on the non-deployed parentThe non-deployed parent also undergoes emotional turmoil, just like their children. These parents experience depression, anxiety and financial loss when their partner deploys. The support system is also affected. Maintaining the family, health care and other commitments become extremely challenging. How well children live and perform depends on how successfully the non-deployed parent copes with the burdens of having their partner gone.Different levels of guiltIt’s common for young children to feel guilty and blame themselves for deploying a parent. They have very little ability to understand the facts regarding why daddy or mommy are gone. The children feel responsible for their parent’s absence, which is one reason why many military children develop emotional and behavioral problems. Preschoolers can become clingy. Older children can become reckless. Toddlers can have temper tantrums. Regardless of age, many kids become withdrawn. As children grow older, other problems can appear and affect their academic performance.Accumulated stress puts children at riskBuilt-up stress affects brain functioning that regulates emotions and behavior in children. Their relationships suffer. They experience other mental and physical health issues that can derail every aspect of their lives. Increasing stress on the non-deployed parent can severely affect parenting. The effects can lead to children being abused and neglected.The end of deployment brings new challengesThe family system changes significantly during a military deployment since one primary caregiver is missing.The returning parent must take time to reintegrate into the family. Even young children who were infants during deployment need time to reacquaint with a parent they don’t remember. The returning parent may come home with severe physical and psychological injuries. Children may react with deep fear and anxiety.The entire parental system and ways of coping undergo a complete transformation. The return of parents with post-traumatic stress disorder and other serious mental issues puts a huge risk on the overall wellbeing of children and families.Promoting Family ResilienceGiving timely support to military children and their families helps them overcome challenges and progress with a positive outlook. Ways to help skills for smoothly sailing through an active-duty deployment include:<ul><li>Encouraging early family member-child relationships</li><li>Using shared values and beliefs to maintain family unity&nbsp;</li><li>Working and playing as a team to strengthen family relationships</li><li>Expressing feelings and communicating with each other</li><li>Planning special family events before deployment</li><li>Maintaining a social network and friendships with other military families</li><li>Developing a rapport with extended family members, teachers, community leaders and neighbors to create a strong support system</li><li>Keeping changes to routines to a minimum</li><li>Having the in-home parent let each child know they will always be there for them</li><li>Showing empathy and understanding for what these children are feeling.</li><li>Encouraging kids to stay emotionally connected with their loved ones or parents who are deployed by writing letters, drawing or recording short videos</li></ul>Final ThoughtsDealing with deployment is a painful and stressful event for everyone in a military family. While it’s a challenge for a non-deployed spouse to adjust to the new norms of the family, it’s the children who experience the most turmoil.References:https://www.aasa.org/content.aspx?id=8998&nbsp;https://www.army.mil/article/147786/experts_explain_mental_state_of_military_childrenhttps://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/newsletter/2013/01/future-directionshttps://futureofchildren.princeton.edu/sites/futureofchildren/files/media/military_children_and_families_23_02_fulljournal.pdfhttps://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Building-Resilience/Pages/Deployment-and-Children.aspxhttps://www.childguidancecenteroc.org/blogs/mental-health-matters/challenges-of-growing-up-in-a-military-familyhttps://www.nccp.org/publication/trauma-faced-by-children-of-military-families/https://www.public-health.uiowa.edu/news-items/what-are-the-health-effects-of-growing-up-as-a-military-kid/

The psychological effects of military deployment on children are traumatic and lasting. Strengthening and supporting military children and families is crucial.

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Growing Up in a Military Family